Facing Fears

maybe i'm scared
to face the things
i feel.
maybe it was
just easier
to walk away.
to pretend i didn't care.
but i really did
and do..
i couldn't face
the things i felt.
and now i stand
on the precautious edge
of everything i ever wanted.
and still now
i sit confused
wondering if
all of this could be true.
if we could just
resend our messages..
we could live in
non fake
happiness.
maybe i should just say
what i fear in my heart
maybe i should just tell you...
if it was ever real.
there was a time,
when i understood everything
that i felt and knew...
and now i dont even know
who my friends are.
all i know,
is im candy coated
but chipping off,
my chocolae centre metling
all over your clean floor..
and im losing
im trying,
but inside im dying
and i can't even
explain to you
howi feel
about the things you say
the actions that you do.
how you hair is so pretty
that i think you have perefct eyes,
and that if maybe you would just smile...
i just can't
open myself
and expose to
you the truth.
and if i rip
open my heart
who will clean up the mess?
will you help me restitch
and repiece
my broken heart?
we've been apart
for so very long
i wonder if our friendship
is really all the same.
don't get me wrong...
we're still frieds forever
but is it
what it was?
we need to sit down and talk.
i have lots to tell you about
and lots to explain.
but i can't do that..
i fear what i feel
and i wonder if
it is even real...
and even if i told you...

would you even understand...
that i think i love you?